For this Toast Toast release, I dug deep into my library of audio sketches from over a year ago and decided to finish a couple that hold significance to me. The A-side comes from a rough time in life in the midst of depression after a very painful breakup. I tried to capture the emotional process of revisiting the same memory over and over again in hopes of somehow getting back to that place in time and reconciling with your loved one. It feels promising at first, as the dopamine from familiarity brings a welcomed comfort.. but it's a futile practice that ultimately crashes back to reality and leaves you wondering how such a beautiful memory can now leave you in severe anguish. From this fall, you are able to gather yourself and form a fresh, healthy, and somewhat innocent perspective on life once again, yet the call of the past still lingers ever fainter.
The B-side comes from a slightly more recent time in my life. I was still coping with depression, but doing better. However the pandemic was in full swing. From home, I could feel the collective weight of the world's fears and anxieties (I think we all could). I started to begin my mornings with complete silence to reflect. The sound of all of the animals in the backyard always gives me hope. It reminds me that I'm just one of billions of animals on this planet.. We're all living our unique experiences simultaneously and we all have our own problems. It's comforting how some of the simplest things in life often bring us the most pleasure. Remembering this simple fact can often alleviate that weight of the world off one's shoulders. I made this as a song of healing.
My main goal for the rest of this year is to keep making honest and genuine music in hopes that someone out there will relate to the feelings conveyed and find solace in having a shared experience with a stranger. Sharing our vulnerabilities, thoughts and feelings and having them resonate with others is one of the most powerful and rewarding aspects of being human. So... yeah, let's keep doing that :)
Love and Understanding - Thanks for listening
- Constant Smile
credits
released June 11, 2021
All tracks written and recorded by Jordan Jenkins.
Artwork by Demir Candas.
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